THE TRUTH ABOUT MY FAKE FRIENDS + ADVICE
- Kimberly Zavera // 2016 High School Graduate
- Aug 5, 2016
- 5 min read
If you learn anything about friends in high school... please learn this! This post will be really important because it will apply to everyone at LEAST once in the four years of high school. I encourage you to read this to the very end because I know that this will help you in the future or... even right now. Here is my story...
It began in my second year (sophomore year) of high school. I was friends with these two girls, but towards the end of the year they decided that they didn't want to be friends with me. They gossiped behind my back to my own friends of how horrible of a person I was. Since you may not know me personally I would like to say that I was a fairly shy girl and from what I know and what my friends have told me... a nice and friendly person. I didn't like the idea of making someone feel bad, which made me an easy target for these girls. Now... instead of them telling me face to face that they didn't want to be friends with me they started to laugh and run in the other direction every time they saw me. After seeing this go on for about two days I asked them if something was wrong. They texted me saying that they didn't want to be friends anymore. In that moment... of course I was sad like anyone else in that situation would be, however overtime I knew I would get over it.
My first piece of advice is that if one or more of your friends does not want to be your friend because of your personality and who you are as a person, there is no reason to beat yourself down. I say this because all they are doing is judging you and saying an opinion... and someones opinion is just an opinion.... NOT a fact.
Now I'll take you to my junior year of high school. I left the whole situation alone, which I'll be honest with you... was hard because we were actually in the same big friend group. Although I spent everyday pretending they weren't around me (so I could actually enjoy myself with my friends) it was hard because they were still talking to all of my friends. For me, knowing that someone doesn't like who I am... with a passion , gets me down. I spent part of sophomore year and all of junior year thinking that there was something wrong with me... which looking back at it now, I cannot for the life or me understand why I let them convince me that. I let them feel like they were "above" me. Occasionally I would see the nasty looks and the glares given to me but I decided that if I went "down to their level" I would be just as horrible as them... and that was the end of junior year.
My second piece of advice is that if someone gives you nasty looks, talks behind your back, or glares at you... it does not represent how bad you are, but how they are. Speaking from experience, because these girls had unnecessary built up anger towards me for two full years.
It's now senior year. I'm not gonna lie I was excited! I thought that this was going to be the year where there would be no drama and I could enjoy my last school year with my own friends. Of course I thought about what the two girls would do to me this year... because it happened all of last year and part of sophomore year. I truly thought to myself that it's been two years since they decided they didn't want to be friends with me... they have probably moved past all of the hatred by now... and that we haven't spoken in two years so there is simply n o reason for them to hate me as much as they do. I couldn't be more wrong. A month into the school year, my friend told me that they were talking bad about me and in-a-way tried to convince my friends that I was a bad person. When I heard this I was beyond shocked, I thought to myself... is this actually going to happen again? I instantly stopped feeling bad about myself and who I was, because I knew that I was nice and friendly and didn't deserve a n y of the back talks. So...I took some time to think about what I would say to them and made sure that it would stick in their minds. Since you've read this far, you probably want to know what I did and how it all ended... so I'll describe it word for word. I was sitting in math class and waited until my teacher was done teaching to give the class free time to work. When she let the whole class work... I got out of my seat and sat down in a chair across from where these two girls were sitting. I wanted to make sure that they were listening to every word I was about to say so I looked at them and asked, "Can I talk to you?". They said yes while looking at me, I said, "I'm sorry for whatever I did two years ago... but that was two years ago.. you need to grow up and get over it. If you have a problem with me... take it up with me... don't go talking to my friends. If you can't do that... then f *** o f f ." After I said that I got out of my seat and went back to my original seat and began to do my math homework.
Now I am not the type of person to want to make someone feel bad, but in this certain situation there was no reason for me to feel bad about saying this to someone who made me feel horrible intentionally for most of my years in high school. With that being said, I cannot tell you how good it made me feel to finally show them that they really aren't "above" me and that I am who I am and that there is nothing for me to be ashamed of. It took me two years to realize this... so if you are going through a situation like this in any way, please take in what I said. If you know that you don't deserve the constant nasty behaviour from someone... you NEED to stand your ground and not let anyone walk all over you.
In senior year, I realized that these girls "fed off of drama". They spent two years investing there energy hating me... which showed me that they did it for so long because it made their lives interesting. I know that you probably thought that this situation would have a happy ending and they would apologize... but that never happened. I learned that they were acting childish and not
grown up... but that was their problem. I learned that everything they did to me represented themselves... not me. I learned that I don't need to apologize for being myself.
I hope my experience will give you the knowledge to stop this from happening to you, or help you deal with something like this. Please feel free to message me on my Facebook or email me to talk!
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